My Own Reality Show?

With the invention of reality TV, I have often pondered on how amazing it would be to have my own.  If the Kardashians can woo the crowd with their big boobs, big asses, and tight clothes - imagine me doing the exact same.  Who wouldn't want to see that shit on prime time television?  Normal people are overlooked for reality shows, when in actuality, they are the ones who are living the real life.  How about doing a reality show where the stars are real people?

So, I would like to volunteer to do my own reality show.  I will be as real as you can get.  I will even walk around the house in my underwear.  I don't really do that now, but imagine the ratings!  I could become so popular that I could get my own recording contract...like every person on the Real Housewives shows.  OR - better yet, I could release a sex tape and be launched to stardom that way.  At least if I had a sex tape, I would get the lighting right.  Seriously, why make a sex tape if you can't even see what is going on?  And I would use props and costumes.  I could get an Academy Award for that shit!  I would even consider releasing the soundtrack.


So if you know someone who wants to do a reality show based on a real person, let me know.  I can flip tables, cry on cue, and pretend like I am high if that's what it takes.  I can act fake in order to do a show about real people.  Bring it!